Selfish

I have a confession to make… I’m really quite selfish.

I am about to embark on a three month placement overseas volunteering in an orphanage. The thought of going overseas to “give back” really stemmed from the fact that I have reached a point in my life where I can see that I do not have much to show for my 34 years.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my life and content to some extent with what I have. I know I am lucky. I have wonderful friends, a loving family and I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world – Sydney.

However, that hasn’t stopped the numerous nights alone, in my queen sized monster bed, where I have pondered my life’s fate and purpose.  It doesn’t stop that deep & constant ache inside me that reminds me that I am alone and that a piece of me is missing. I’m sick of waiting around for something to happen and for my life to “begin”, for that knight in shining armour to rescue me and love me. So I have decided to rescue myself!

So you see – I’m really quite selfish. I have decided to go overseas and volunteer in an under-developed country to “give back” to not only serve humanity but to save myself.

The following quote best describes my feelings:

“In giving you are throwing a bridge across the chasm of your solitude”. Antoine de Saint

The Journey

I start my journey in Vietnam where I will spend a couple of weeks relaxing and exploring (cheaper to live in Vietnam than Sydney!). I will then travel to Siem Reap in Cambodia where I have been fortunate enough to secure a three month placement at the CHRES Village Orphanage and School as an English Teacher.

It’s with trepidation and excitement that I face my new opportunity. I have numerous fears – “will I be a good teacher?”, “will I be safe travelling alone as a female?”, “will I be able to give back more than I receive?”, “will it be enough?”, “what will I do after three months?”

However, overriding the fears is the sense of purpose and fulfilment from doing something albeit a small something. It may be a small something but as they say you can’t let what you can’t do interfere with what little you can do.

The ripple effect

I hope by reading this you will also find some inspiration if you have, like me, wanted to pursue a dream that you have suppressed for a while. I myself was inspired into action by someone who has also done the same – a friend who is teaching in Vietnam with her partner.

Whether you have a couple of moments, a couple of days, a couple of weeks or a couple of months you can really make a difference too. Every act, every day can make a difference to the wider world. Again, best described by a quote:

“Every action in our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity” Edwin Hubbel Chapin

If you’re looking to commit a significant amount of time overseas to volunteer, as a starting point, I would strongly advise you to purchase the Lonely Planet guide “Volunteer”. The book was recommended to me by an amazing lady who had recently returned from an overseas trip in Malawi. The guide is a great source of information on volunteering overseas with tips and advice on the practicalities (e.g preparation, raising funds, choosing a placement) and the differences between structured or organised placements and DIY placements.

Preparation

Since I made the decision to give up my job and my rented apartment, I have found that an angel has been watching over me. Everything seems to be working out well.

I recall the moment I walked into my boss’s office with my resignation letter, I hadn’t expected a supportive and understanding response. Instead of anger or disdain my boss proceeded to support me and refer me to her network of friends who had connections in this new world.

Friends have supported me by shouting me farewell lunches and dinners – even a delicious High Tea – to providing me with boxes and bubble wrap to help me pack. A friend has offered to lend me her car. A very close friend also took me shopping for my first pair of cargo pants, essential travel supplies and raincoat. Another really close friend lent me her camera and advised on where I should stay. These generous gifts and gestures and the numerous pieces of advice have really made a big difference at this uncertain time. Most of all the encouragement and reassurance of friends and family has given me the greatest comfort and reminded me I am not alone at all.

Now I just have the remainder of my packing to do and a backpack to pack before I leave on Saturday to save the world and to let the world save me!